It’s the ultimate dating dilemma for women – when she should invite a man into her bed? And there are a lot of stigmas that come with dating and new relationships but one of the most debated ones is, “Is it okay to have sex on the first date? We asked the team at Magpie HQ what they thought…
Bathnait Ni Murchu, Fashion Editor
” I must say my inner Prudish Patsy is having an absolute canary at this question – her long wiry wagging finger and vigorously shaking greying top bun head is quite frankly saying No Way Hosé! (whoever Hosé may be)Thankfully, my more modern Mary has a voice too and I would certainly be leaning towards trusting your own good feelings on this one!
Sexual attraction/chemistry is one thing, (and a great one at that) but connecting with a special someone on a first date through witty banter, a splash of humour, personal stories and similar interests makes that warm, fuzzy feeling at the end so much more worthwhile than a possible tinge of regret that may rear its big old head if the gloves come off (or clothes as the case may be) first time round!
There is nothing like that sheer anticipation of wanting to see your date a second time around and choosing to hold off only adds to the excitement of date number….2, 3 , 4 !So, if it was me, I would ask myself what I would like to feel more after the first meet up– the flirtatious flurry of butterflies at the prospect of a second date or his body (at a possible cost!) Your call, Trust your gut on this one! “
Georgina Heffernan – Editor
“We’re not living in the 1950’s, so women should be allowed to express themselves sexually and get their needs met. However, it depends on how emotionally secure you are ? If you think that you can hookup with someone and feel OK about yourself the next morning – knock yourself out.
But if I were being brutally honest, I don’t think women are emotionally built to sleep around because when we open ourselves to someone both physically and emotionally it’s a ‘big deal’. Like a really big deal.
Should you sleep with someone on a first date? Stating the obvious, it’s not safe. They could have an STD or be violent, so you’re taking that risk. As a friend of mine recently observed: ‘You wouldn’t walk down the street, see a sweet on the ground and pick it up and pop it in your mouth – because you don’t know where it’s been.” Good point.
Lauren Malone – Beauty Editor
“The short answer is, I don’t think there is anything wrong with having sex on the first date – and I certainly wouldn’t judge anyone who chooses to do so. It is entirely up to you, it’s nobody’s place to tell you when it is the right time to do it.
I personally don’t think I would have sex on a first date, I’m in a long term relationship with my husband (we met when I was 19 – a time before Tinder!) so I kind of can’t imaging being single, I think for me personally it would be too intimate (psychologically) to do on a first date at this stage of my life.”
Ailsha Davey -Beauty Features Writer
“It is known worldwide that typically speaking- sex on the first date usually does not develop into a serious or long-lasting relationship. There are two issues at hand here; a) Is this guy capable of keeping his dick in his pants for longer than his first couple of hours meeting you, and b) are you comfortable knowing that, if you decide to proceed with sex on the first date, chances are it will not develop into a serious relationship once the chase is over?
If you can answer these two questions in your head on a first date, I think you’ve made your decision.”
Kerrie Sheedy – Columnist
“I don’t think situations like this really matter anymore I’m sure there was a point in history when men and women had to jump through hoops and be clandestine to sleep with each other but this is 2017, the Tinder age, times have changed and so have the rules.
If you’re both adults that are consenting and you know you’re not going to wake up in the morning regretting it and wondering when did prince charming turned into Shrek, what does it matter? Establishing sexual compatibility early is just as important as any so-called spark, you need to be able to enjoy sex with your prospective partner without fear of judgement.
There is a theory that guys will think you are a slut or easy but when you are asked out on a date I think it’s obvious from the start whether someone wants to be in a relationship or just wants to have a bit of fun. Sexual pleasure and love are two different things if your date ends up being just casual sex, who cares.
Sex shouldn’t be a weapon to beat someone over the head with, it is empowering liberating and pleasurable.”
Rachel Golden – Features Editor
“I believe it’s up to the individual to decide what’s best for them. If you want to do it then go for it , if you don’t then wait. Personally I think it’s good to retain some mystery at the start of a romance . There is nothing quite like the thrill of the chase and in some cases this is what keeps the spark alive and burning especially at the beginning . Always leave them wanting more is my motto !!”