While we’re aware and motivated to take care of our physical health, sometimes our mental wellbeing can be overlooked. Here, model, mum and mental health advocate, Alison Canavan talk to Ruth Doris about her struggles with mental health…
ALISON CANAVAN MODEL, MUM AND PARENTING SPECIALIST
When I first opened up about my struggles with postnatal depression on the Late Late Show in 2011 people were saying to me, ‘what are you doing, you’re destroying your career’. But what spurred me on was the emails I was getting from mums every single day, saying: ‘Thank you so much, you’re really helping me.’ But actually the emails were really helping me.
I had a high-profile glamorous career as a model, but perception is not reality. I travelled on my own, and yet I didn’t like to be alone. I wasn’t sleeping. It took me a long time to realise I couldn’t live two lives, the hedonistic crazy life and be happy as well. For 20 years I suffered with depression, anxiety and skin problems, the list goes on. I was going to doctors asking them to fix me. I outsourced my happiness for so long.
It took a long time for me to make the connection between mental health and alcohol. I had recovered from anxiety and depression and whenever I drank again it came back full force. I thought I have to realise I’m not in control of this, and it’s absolutely devastating for my mental and physical health. This will be my second Christmas sober and sometimes I get those nights of ‘oh am I missing something?’ And then I think I’m happy every day and that’s not something I’d mess up.
I wish that I could show people that five or ten minutes a day over 30, 60 or 90 days of changing habits to see the difference it makes in their lives, relationships, in their ability to cope and how much work they can get done. We’re all on social media for hours, or watching TV in the evening and yet we say we don’t have time. I used to say I didn’t have time, but I could sit in the pub for 10 hours.
If you’re serious about getting rid of depression and anxiety, and be happier, you have to change your lifestyle. It can be difficult at first but the rewards are incredible. I don’t just wake up aimlessly, I do some stretching, I do 10 minutes of meditation. I write in my gratitude journal. This sets up my day and gives me the ability to cope.
I feel like we’ve lost our sense of connection. We’re looking at phones all the time. I do a lot of work with mindfulness, and try to get people to think of it as something we can incorporate into our lives naturally every day. People can get freaked out by spiritual extremes, but meditation is not ‘out-there’. We all have that aspect of ourselves which needs to be nurtured. If you don’t like meditation, go for a walk in the park, connect with nature, or spend some time alone, journaling, writing or practising gratitude.
When I lost my dad the grief for me was traumatic. I had regrets, he hasn’t been there for any of the kids, and weddings. Any huge life event can have an impact on your mental health. But we need to not fear negative emotions, they’re a natural part of our lives. It’s important for us to feel these feelings and to work through them.
As women we don’t put ourselves first because we think it’s shallow and self-indulgent. In fact if you appear to be vain you get slagged, ‘oh look at her she’s so into herself’, whereas vanity and self-awareness are two completely different things. My son James was the catalyst for me to understand that self-care is really important. I started off doing everything for him when I was pregnant and when I got very sick I wanted to get better for him. It was on that journey I realised actually I need to get better for me, as well as for him and my family and friends. It was a real eye-opener for me.
Minding Mum by Alison Canavan €16.99 at Bookestore Nationwide.
